Wishing the World Was This Nice All the Time
Today's (nearly) 31 week doctor visit yielded lots and lots of ho-hum news. My doctor beamed as she reviewed my blood pressure, pee test, weight, etc. and said, "You are doing everything right." Just for the record, and anyone seeking reassurance, my weight today puts me at 36 pounds gained. I felt a moment of dread, realizing I'm just 4 pounds away from having gained back every pound I fought so hard to lose last year. But, I feel like I'm on an unstoppable train right now, that only goes up. This late in the ride, it seems a little silly to start panicking, especially when (as I insist on reminding myself) no one else is.
Want to know the strangest thing I've experienced since my belly exploded and now the entire world knows, without a doubt (and without coercion!) that I'm officially pregnant? The strangest thing is how incredibly, genuinely, spontaneously NICE people are being to me. Friends, family, and absolute strangers are not only being kind and offering sweet little gestures, but many of them are literally going out of their way to help me do the smallest things. Even though these strange kindnesses have happened several times now, I continue to be shocked at the next.
Here's the thing: I'm a very independent girl. Normally, I pride myself of hefting around heavy boxes, piling up with extra loads of grocery bags, stacking multiple 12-packs of cokes and cases of water in my arms, etc. The way I see it is that the whole world is full of busy. tired people, so I've never been one to shirk my weight, or expect others to carry it for me. With the baby now bulging, my sense of balance completely screwed, and all the achy days that pregnancy brings, I'm somewhat weaker than I used to be. I walk slower, I lift less and chores take me longer to accomplish. However, I never assume I'm getting out of any task---I just have to do them in new ways, or slower ways. But, what I've noticed is that I'm rarely allowed to accomplish much of anything without helpful intervention from the outside world---and without a single request from me.
It's quite stunning.
It's a little awkward for me to accept this assistance, but I can see on their faces how much people honestly want to help. And, they smile with such bright eyes, asking simple questions about the pregnancy, and wishing me well on my way. Despite the awkwardness of it, it is really heartening to see how quick people are to help, expecting nothing in return but small details about the baby. And, though I am flattered by all this, I find myself frequently sad about it, too. Why, I wonder, can't people be this nice to one another all the time, no matter who is pregnant and who is not? What an incredible, vastly different place the world it would be!
Want to know the strangest thing I've experienced since my belly exploded and now the entire world knows, without a doubt (and without coercion!) that I'm officially pregnant? The strangest thing is how incredibly, genuinely, spontaneously NICE people are being to me. Friends, family, and absolute strangers are not only being kind and offering sweet little gestures, but many of them are literally going out of their way to help me do the smallest things. Even though these strange kindnesses have happened several times now, I continue to be shocked at the next.
Here's the thing: I'm a very independent girl. Normally, I pride myself of hefting around heavy boxes, piling up with extra loads of grocery bags, stacking multiple 12-packs of cokes and cases of water in my arms, etc. The way I see it is that the whole world is full of busy. tired people, so I've never been one to shirk my weight, or expect others to carry it for me. With the baby now bulging, my sense of balance completely screwed, and all the achy days that pregnancy brings, I'm somewhat weaker than I used to be. I walk slower, I lift less and chores take me longer to accomplish. However, I never assume I'm getting out of any task---I just have to do them in new ways, or slower ways. But, what I've noticed is that I'm rarely allowed to accomplish much of anything without helpful intervention from the outside world---and without a single request from me.
It's quite stunning.
It's a little awkward for me to accept this assistance, but I can see on their faces how much people honestly want to help. And, they smile with such bright eyes, asking simple questions about the pregnancy, and wishing me well on my way. Despite the awkwardness of it, it is really heartening to see how quick people are to help, expecting nothing in return but small details about the baby. And, though I am flattered by all this, I find myself frequently sad about it, too. Why, I wonder, can't people be this nice to one another all the time, no matter who is pregnant and who is not? What an incredible, vastly different place the world it would be!
posted by deanna at 6:56 PM
2 Comments:
I know what you mean. It is truly incredible how people change their colors becuase someone is pregnant. It's some hope in the world, I think. The promise of birth, and the "purity" of the mother (don't gag, I'm talking symolism) seems to make people feel their shiniest.
Just wait, though, until that same person stands in line with you while you hold your baby who is screaming, no matter what you've done to try to get him to stop. Then they're all snarky. So much for new hope, etc...
Enjoy every moment, even if it's a struggle to accept the help. It's part of your pregnancy experience, and one I can tell you are embracing. I continue to be so incredibly happy for you!!
Yeah, I remember being surprised about that too. People are definitely nicer when you're pregnant. Enjoy it, it doesn't last :)
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