Coping with Real
With the advent of the 4D ultrasound pictures, suddenly this baby shit got REAL.
Real, real, real.
He even has a name now, you know. He's technically not Master Snippet anymore. We're trying to keep his hard-thought name a secret, so Jake and I just refer to him by it between ourselves. I keep telling Jake to stop doing even that because I'm so afraid I'll get too comfortable and then slip up to someone else. Jake cheated a little and told the 4D ultrasound technician Snippet's name. He said he just couldn't stand it, and had to tell someone---anyone, especially after getting to see Snippet looking so very real on the screen. He gave me permission to tell a complete stranger whom we will never see again, but so far, I haven't found anyone worthy.
Just so you know---it's a beautiful name. It took us months of debate, but we both really love it. His name, combined with the amazing opportunity I had to look into our baby's sweet, soft eyes---all of it evidence that he's something more than just an imagining.
Depending on the day, I feel like he will either be here in a blink, or that October is a wearisome long way away. Most days I'm panicking because I feel like we're not emotionally prepared, we're not even close to being ready for him. Jake's repetitive comment, several times a week, is, "What are we going to do with a baby?" My usual reply is, "Feed him to the doggies."
Holy crap. What ARE we going to do with a baby?
Real, real, real.
He even has a name now, you know. He's technically not Master Snippet anymore. We're trying to keep his hard-thought name a secret, so Jake and I just refer to him by it between ourselves. I keep telling Jake to stop doing even that because I'm so afraid I'll get too comfortable and then slip up to someone else. Jake cheated a little and told the 4D ultrasound technician Snippet's name. He said he just couldn't stand it, and had to tell someone---anyone, especially after getting to see Snippet looking so very real on the screen. He gave me permission to tell a complete stranger whom we will never see again, but so far, I haven't found anyone worthy.
Just so you know---it's a beautiful name. It took us months of debate, but we both really love it. His name, combined with the amazing opportunity I had to look into our baby's sweet, soft eyes---all of it evidence that he's something more than just an imagining.
Depending on the day, I feel like he will either be here in a blink, or that October is a wearisome long way away. Most days I'm panicking because I feel like we're not emotionally prepared, we're not even close to being ready for him. Jake's repetitive comment, several times a week, is, "What are we going to do with a baby?" My usual reply is, "Feed him to the doggies."
Holy crap. What ARE we going to do with a baby?
posted by deanna at 8:26 PM
9 Comments:
Oh YAY! I've great things about the 4D. So glad things are going well.
You are going love him more than you ever thought you could. You will sit and stare at him in amazement, analyzing all his little features.
Then, you will change 40 diapers in 3 days and feed him continuously. *sleepy smile*
It goes by fast, but the anticipation is a nightmare.
Ha! WE sit around and joke about roasting our dogs over a spit for dinner (sick, I know), exactly the opposite of what you're sitting around joking about. Hmmm. Anyhoo, Kim is right, you are going to sit around during every spare moment just watch him. No, really. When my nephew Caleb was here for his 1st birthday we all did that and he wasn't even as cute and fresh as a newborn! With Lucy, all we did for 4 days was sit and look at her. The best moment of the whole time was 20 minutes where Josh and I were in the hospital bed together and looking at her and she was looking back at us. Priceless. Newborns get this look on their faces where you can tell they are studying every feature of your faces and memorizing it and it just breaks your heart with joy. That's why you'll never stop watching him...enjoy it!
I'm with you on the scary real thing...and I only have our 20 week u/s pictures to look at!
Glad you guys settled on a name. We are still in intense negotiations between 2--we'll see who wins!
At least someone is able to settle on names in this world of baby bloggers...we're not having much luck on that front ourselves.
Aww. Lucky doggies ;).
That's sweet about the name, and just having to tell the technician. Heh.
Looking forward to October, and seeing young Master Not-Snippet-Anymore in colour!
I continue to be so thrilled for you, D. And how lovely that you are calling him by name. I did that with both my boys, and it made the whole pregnancy (once we knew the sex) so much sweeter.
LOVE your response to Jake re: the doggies!!
And here's some food for thought:
(1) you will never be emotionally ready. Not now, not when they turn 17 and lie about how they smashed the trunk of your car. So don't worry about that piece. You will freak, panic, and love that little guy with all the fierceness in the universe. And still panic. And you'll learn everything you have to learn. And when they tell you it's time to leave the hospital, you'll beg them to let you stay. And then you'll take him home and realize how incredible it is to have him there. While panicking. :)
(2) All you need to be ready for a baby is a bag of diapers, wipes, some onesies and pajama-type clothes, a hat to keep his head warm (which you get at the hospital), some A & D and maybe powder, antibiotic cream, and a few receiving blankets and burp cloths. Oh, and either breastmilk or formula, and some bottles/nipples. I think I covered the essentials. Other than that, he can sleep in a pack and play, a drawer with bedding, a bassinet which you can pick up just about anywhere. You can change him on the rug in your living room. Nothing has to be coordinated, finished, organized, etc. Eddie slept in our room for the first 5 months. His nursery, while painted before he was born, wasn't ready for occupancy until right before he was ready to move into it at 5 months. All he'll need is your love, clothes and the right diapering accoutrements, food, and stuff to clean both you and he up when he poops, pees and pukes.
(3) everything you need to know you'll be able to learn at the hospital. They have videos and hands-on learning with the nurses.
(4) Everything will be perfect, even if it is not. Assvice concluded.
You do understand that I am now DYING to know the name! Couldn't I be your stranger from across the country? :)
DId I mention how beautiful he is?
I've been reading and sending you warm, warm, excited wishes...
xo
Love,
Pam
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