Things I Know For Certain

In spite of all the uncertainties right now, here is what I do know:

1. I will be giving birth this month. THIS very month in which I am living. No more flipping calendar pages to look at the long stretch of time ahead.

2. Snippet is "very, very low. He's way down in there." This happy news is according to Man-Doc at today's 38-week checkup. I told him I would gleefully love to give birth this weekend, and he agreed that would be fine by him. He's on-call this weekend, in fact, so as Jake and I left the office he wistfully said, "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow!" Of course, he was completely just trying to patronize a giant pregnant woman, and surely mumbled, "Yeah, not a chance....." after he walked down the hall. But, it was awfully nice of him to pretend. Jake and I are planning a weekend full of yardwork and walking the doggies, in hopes of jump-starting something exciting.

3. Snippet will be a Libra, just like his mom. My doctors will only let me run one week overdue, which would put induction at October 21st. I have always loved being a Libra even though I rarely read my horoscope or give a crap what it says. It's the description of a typical Libra that I've always loved (and tried to live up to), though, of course, I always overlook the negative traits: "Librans are sensitive to the needs of others and have the gift, sometimes to an almost psychic extent, of understanding the emotional needs of their companions and meeting them with their own innate optimism - they are the kind of people of whom it is said, "They always make you feel better for having been with them." They are very social human beings. They loathe cruelty, viciousness and vulgarity and detest conflict between people, so they do their best to cooperate and compromise with everyone around them, and their ideal for their own circle and for society as a whole is unity. Their cast of mind is artistic rather than intellectual, though they are usually too moderate and well balanced to be avant garde in any artistic endeavor. They have good perception and observation and their critical ability, with which they are able to view their own efforts as well as those of others, gives their work integrity." How could I ask for Snippet to be anything more?

4. Every scale in my doctor's office is broken. They must be, since for the second week in a row I did not gain any weight. I am in such giddy shock since my epic halloween candy-eating episodes this week were truly embarrassing. I had planned to steer away from that colorful, sweet-smelling aisle this week at the grocery store, but the lack of pound-addage has re-fueled my intentions to continue Scarf-Fest 2008. Now.....only thing to decide is Caramel or Peanut Butter Twix???

5. I am getting a haircut this weekend.Haircuts are the sort of thing that I have never classified as a "need." They're an obligation, but one that I have never feel too concerned about, to the extent that I often go 6 months (or more!) between cuts. Knowing this about myself is why I have the "hairstyle" I currently do, which is basically just "grow it all out long and one-length." I've been stressing about getting a cut lately because it's been so long since my last one, and I don't want to look all split-ended and scrappy in my postpartum pictures. As it is, the rest of me will look like hell, so I would at least like my hair to look something presentable.

6. If I don't have this baby soon, he's going to explode out of my navel. He's clearly pissed about running out of room, and continues to push and shove around in there, heaving up painful little mountains on my belly. My skin can only stretch so far and then, well, it's possible he'll be the first baby in history to live up to the lame "Aliens" jokes that pepper so many conversations about women in the third trimester. (Seriously, it's old, people.)