The Pro
Since it would be just plain mean to suggest anything frightening for the sake of audience suspense, I'll tell you up front that today's OB appointment revealed our baby with a strong, happy heart beating away at 136 beats per minute. No irregularities, no skipping beats, no weirdness at all---just steady, steady, beautiful beats that were so loud and easy to hear due to the fact that everyone in the room was holding their breath.
This was our first go with the doppler, so Jake made sure to get time off work so he could hear it with me. Last week, when I realized how close the appointment was, I began drifting off into the freak-out zone. I'm naive about a lot of things, but I'm certainly not dumb enough to assume everything would be fine. There are so many bloggers and bulletin board posters out there whose sadness during a doppler appointment is well documented. I was hopeful everything would be okay, but I was by no means blindly assuming anything. By this morning's appointment, my stomach was a knotted mess.
Thankfully, we didn't have to spend a whole lot of time doing the check-up chit-chat, since I didn't have anything but my explosive acne to report. The adorable, very compassionate nurse quickly moved to the doppler and set about searching for Snippet. She searched. She swiped across, over, down my abdomen. She moved the doppler wand slowly, lightly, pushed down.....NOTHING. Just horrible, irritating static. Static that was a buzz of fear in my ears, unending. Minutes went by, at least five of them, I swear. The poor nurse was trying so hard to find it, but there was just wave upon wave of loud-clattering empty air. She lay the doppler aside and said, "Let me get Mary. She's amazing at this. She'll find it, don't you worry."
Well, telling me not to worry is the surest way to make me break out crying, which I couldn't help but do the very second she left the room. This got Jake tearing up as he held my hand and I tried to pull myself together. The whole room felt so small and dark and heavy. I felt like a stone on that table.
The nurses quickly returned to the room and Mary went to work. Everything and everyone in the room was so still. There was none of the quiet little commenting that the first nurse had done: "Where are you...." she jad said quietly to herself, "Come on now, sweetie." But, Mary didn't say a word. She just searched. It only took her about 20 seconds and then, there it was. All the sound in the room changed, from 4 adults barely breathing, to audible exhalations of relief once that ryhthmic drumming filled the air. Beautiful.
Mary let us listen for a long time, keeping the doppler in place, just transmitting that priceless sweet reassurance. Turns out the first nurse normally works with full-term patients in labor & delivery at the hospital, and was just working in the office today to help out. They call Mary "The Pro" at finding heartbeats in early pregnancy and she certainly earned her title today.
This was our first go with the doppler, so Jake made sure to get time off work so he could hear it with me. Last week, when I realized how close the appointment was, I began drifting off into the freak-out zone. I'm naive about a lot of things, but I'm certainly not dumb enough to assume everything would be fine. There are so many bloggers and bulletin board posters out there whose sadness during a doppler appointment is well documented. I was hopeful everything would be okay, but I was by no means blindly assuming anything. By this morning's appointment, my stomach was a knotted mess.
Thankfully, we didn't have to spend a whole lot of time doing the check-up chit-chat, since I didn't have anything but my explosive acne to report. The adorable, very compassionate nurse quickly moved to the doppler and set about searching for Snippet. She searched. She swiped across, over, down my abdomen. She moved the doppler wand slowly, lightly, pushed down.....NOTHING. Just horrible, irritating static. Static that was a buzz of fear in my ears, unending. Minutes went by, at least five of them, I swear. The poor nurse was trying so hard to find it, but there was just wave upon wave of loud-clattering empty air. She lay the doppler aside and said, "Let me get Mary. She's amazing at this. She'll find it, don't you worry."
Well, telling me not to worry is the surest way to make me break out crying, which I couldn't help but do the very second she left the room. This got Jake tearing up as he held my hand and I tried to pull myself together. The whole room felt so small and dark and heavy. I felt like a stone on that table.
The nurses quickly returned to the room and Mary went to work. Everything and everyone in the room was so still. There was none of the quiet little commenting that the first nurse had done: "Where are you...." she jad said quietly to herself, "Come on now, sweetie." But, Mary didn't say a word. She just searched. It only took her about 20 seconds and then, there it was. All the sound in the room changed, from 4 adults barely breathing, to audible exhalations of relief once that ryhthmic drumming filled the air. Beautiful.
Mary let us listen for a long time, keeping the doppler in place, just transmitting that priceless sweet reassurance. Turns out the first nurse normally works with full-term patients in labor & delivery at the hospital, and was just working in the office today to help out. They call Mary "The Pro" at finding heartbeats in early pregnancy and she certainly earned her title today.
posted by deanna at 12:44 PM
14 Comments:
My heart was having trouble as I read your post!
So glad you got to hear what you've been waiting for.
PHEW- and thanks again for coming over yesterday!
OMG, that would have totally freaked me out. Three cheers for Mary!!
YAY!!! I'm so glad "The Pro" was able to find that little hearbeat so quickly. I know I would have been FREAKING out too.
When I went for my 16-week check-up there was a student shadowing my midwide. Liz asked if I would mind the student looking for the heartbeat. If this had been my first time I would have been freaking out at how long it took her to find it but because I knew she wasn't really pushing hard enough or in the right position I just waited for Liz to guide her hand and show her the right technique. As soon as Liz did we got the heartbeat right away and I was easy breathing again.
I do wish I could tell you the anxiety gets better but I just don't know that it does. My 20-week appt is a week from Wed and I'm still very nervous about the "big ultrasound" and making sure all is okay, even though I've even started to feel flutters the last few weeks. How about we just encourage each other?? :-)
I know how you feel. I was holding my breath for you as I read, even after your first sentence reassured. I've been there, and every time it is no less terrifying becuase we always wait for the other shoe to drop. Something my OB said really comforted me - he said that it is really hard to screw up a pregnancy once you get going. You hear about the bad things becuase those are horribly noteworthy. But you don't hear about all the rest of those women who glide through - not even from the standpoint of how they feel, but how the baby does. Even as horrific as my pregnancy was, Eddie just sailed. And Snippet will too. (and my pregnancy was an exception - most people do so much better than I did!)
Oh my god, you poor thing. You must have been terrified. I'm SO glad that everything is okay with you (well, except for the acne) and Snippet.
Yay for Mary! Yay for Snippet! And, yay for you for surviving the stress; I would have been a wreck too.
Yikes...thank goodness for The Pro. How scary though. So glad Snippet was just playing hide and seek.
Great to see you yesterday!
From a professional's perspective, I always feel bad when I can't find the heartbeat right away. We often get youngins in triage for a variety of reasons. I always ALWAYS preface my finding the heartbeat by saying "Don't freak out if I don't find it right away. It's like finding a needle in a haystack." I know it doesn't reassure anybody, but maybe they'll be more patient with me. I've had to get another nurse to find it, too. Never a fun situation and my heart sinks when I come back and can see the welled-up tears in their eyes.
I'm so glad everything is okay. It is such a great sound. I've snuck into a triage room all by myself with the doppler after my shift, just so I can listen to that heartbeat for a few minutes - and smile.
I am so grateful to hear the good news! It is scary when they can't find the hb at first. Congratulations! Go Snippet!
I know I would have been freaked too! So glad that everything was fine.
Miss X
I remember those days of holding my breath waiting for the thump, thump, thump...it is torture! And I think my home doppler is better than the one my doc uses because it usually takes them longer than it takes me to find it. They can hide in so many places at that point - those little buggers :)
I'm so glad all is well! XOXO
Yay Snippet! What an amazing sound that is. I'm so glad everything is going well.
Hurrah for Snippet's heart! Hurrah for the Pro!
Glad all is going well.
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