Registry Reflections
My friend,Kim, left a comment in my last post that really got me thinking. She mentioned that, now that she's pregnant and has a baby registry, she feels badly about ignoring her friends' registries in the past. Oh, sister, do I hear you.
At all (all!) past baby showers I have attended I totally ignored the parents' registries. I tossed those little "I'm registered at _____" cards straight into the trash and made a huffy sound as the paper hit the puddle of spaghetti sauce. AS IF! As if I can't think for myself and need gift-buying guidance. As if I don't love you enough to put some thought and creativity into your gift. As if I'm so busy I can't actually shop for you. These were my thoughts, and I was sure I looked like a superior friend showing up to the shower with the gorgeous cutesy thing that I found all on my own after scouring neato little boutiques for weeks. I just assumed registries were for the uninspired and confused.
Jake and I briefly debated whether to sign up for any baby registries at all, until we recalled our wedding. We confused our parents when we refused to register for wedding gifts. I thought it was rude to tell people what to buy us---we should let them do what they felt motivated toward. We shouldn't trap them into some list and make them feel obligated to spend more than they could afford. So, we didn't register and gave people creative purchasing power.....and received many phone calls and messages through Jake's mom asking us what we needed or wanted. It turns out not everyone feels the way I do about the whole creative shopping thing. And, it's not because they love us less than someone who does---they just want to be helpful, to get us things we actually need instead of stuff that just ends up being annoying. And, some people find shopping really stressful. They don't like trying to guess likes and dislikes. They appreciate a little guidance.
So, Jake and I laid our registry reservations aside, and booked it to Babies R Us and Target a few weeks ago. We loaded up the scanner guns over a 3-hour jag with stuff we didn't even know existed. Our joint agreement was that we would put every price range imaginable on there so people didn't feel forced into any certain categories. We also put a few expensive things on the list that we're totally not expecting anyone to buy. BRUs allows us to purchase whatever is left on the list after the baby is born for a fat 10% discount, so that's when we'll buy the pricier stuff. (Of course, if someone wants to go crazy and get us the pricey loot on their own, who am I to stop them?!)
In the weeks since we registered, I have come to realize the error of my ways concerning gift registries. NOW I get why they're so great---it's because they're so damn helpful. Seeing a list of everything we need is helpful in itself, but then watching things disappear off the list as they're purchased will help us even further to financially plan for what's left. Plus, if people use the registry, we won't have to worry about getting duplicates of stuff that we have to haul up to BRUs to exchange for what we actually needed. That's not to say that I'm totally against buying off-registry. There are some incredibly talented people out there who make beautiful things or maybe know of some great gadget that I forgot to sign up for. What I'm saying is that I GET IT now, the whole registry thing. And, you can be sure that the next wedding or shower I go to will have me approaching their registry in a whole new light.
At all (all!) past baby showers I have attended I totally ignored the parents' registries. I tossed those little "I'm registered at _____" cards straight into the trash and made a huffy sound as the paper hit the puddle of spaghetti sauce. AS IF! As if I can't think for myself and need gift-buying guidance. As if I don't love you enough to put some thought and creativity into your gift. As if I'm so busy I can't actually shop for you. These were my thoughts, and I was sure I looked like a superior friend showing up to the shower with the gorgeous cutesy thing that I found all on my own after scouring neato little boutiques for weeks. I just assumed registries were for the uninspired and confused.
Jake and I briefly debated whether to sign up for any baby registries at all, until we recalled our wedding. We confused our parents when we refused to register for wedding gifts. I thought it was rude to tell people what to buy us---we should let them do what they felt motivated toward. We shouldn't trap them into some list and make them feel obligated to spend more than they could afford. So, we didn't register and gave people creative purchasing power.....and received many phone calls and messages through Jake's mom asking us what we needed or wanted. It turns out not everyone feels the way I do about the whole creative shopping thing. And, it's not because they love us less than someone who does---they just want to be helpful, to get us things we actually need instead of stuff that just ends up being annoying. And, some people find shopping really stressful. They don't like trying to guess likes and dislikes. They appreciate a little guidance.
So, Jake and I laid our registry reservations aside, and booked it to Babies R Us and Target a few weeks ago. We loaded up the scanner guns over a 3-hour jag with stuff we didn't even know existed. Our joint agreement was that we would put every price range imaginable on there so people didn't feel forced into any certain categories. We also put a few expensive things on the list that we're totally not expecting anyone to buy. BRUs allows us to purchase whatever is left on the list after the baby is born for a fat 10% discount, so that's when we'll buy the pricier stuff. (Of course, if someone wants to go crazy and get us the pricey loot on their own, who am I to stop them?!)
In the weeks since we registered, I have come to realize the error of my ways concerning gift registries. NOW I get why they're so great---it's because they're so damn helpful. Seeing a list of everything we need is helpful in itself, but then watching things disappear off the list as they're purchased will help us even further to financially plan for what's left. Plus, if people use the registry, we won't have to worry about getting duplicates of stuff that we have to haul up to BRUs to exchange for what we actually needed. That's not to say that I'm totally against buying off-registry. There are some incredibly talented people out there who make beautiful things or maybe know of some great gadget that I forgot to sign up for. What I'm saying is that I GET IT now, the whole registry thing. And, you can be sure that the next wedding or shower I go to will have me approaching their registry in a whole new light.
posted by deanna at 7:01 PM
8 Comments:
Registries are definitely helpful. I like the creative gifts, but it also helps you from getting 20 ugly vases from the Aunts and cousins who are not really good with creative :)
20+ years ago when I was getting married, I was very hesitant to register (it felt slightly tacky, like I was asking for presents & dictating what people should buy), but in the end I was very glad I did. The only thing that bothers me is when I get to the store too late & everyone's already bought up all the reasonably priced stuff -- then what??
I have to say I'm with Loribeth about the reasonably priced stuff - lol. One time I went to buy stuff for a baby shower and the family had bought up all the little stuff including lotions, onesies, blankets, etc. They figured other people would go in together to get the big stuff. So frustrating.
If you couldn't tell, I'm all about the registry. Luckily with Aiden we got very few repeats that way, which was nice, and we got a TON of stuff we needed. With him the only things Gabe and I bought were the furniture (although my SIL gave some money for the crib), pack n' play, bouncer, and little things we wanted. If this baby is a boy the only thing we're really going to have to buy is the double stroller (which I already got on sale!! Woo hoo!! He he).
Anyway, I think it's fabulous that you've registered. Um, so can I get in on knowing how to view your lovely registry?? :-)
LORIBETH: That is a VERY good point I hadn't even thought of. Hmmmm.....perhaps Jake and I should do some hardcore monitoring of the registry around our shower date. If we notice all the affordable stuff is being bought, we can add more stuff through the website. So glad you thought of that!
BRANDY: Here's hoping you have a boy! (at least, financially speaking. Non-financially, I really hope you have a girl!)
Personally, I found the registries to be very helpful for me becuase, even though I had done it before, I was totally overwhelmed trying to figure out what I needed for Eddie. Since my older son was turning 16 right around Eddie's birthdate, I couldn't remember what we bought, what we needed, or even what we'd do with the flippin stuff once we got it. So the registries helped to make sense of it all for us, and then we had a plan.
And I'm one of those totally non-creative idiots who really needs someone to tell me what to get them. Plus I'm lucky if I have two minutes to scratch my own ass these days, rather than have the time to get to the store - so the on-line aspect can be very convenient for people like me :)
One great resource I used when making choices was Baby Bargains Book - it had lots of consumer reviews and helped me with my lists and ultimate picks.
I am just so glad that you took the plunge and did the whole scanner thing - it's a rite of passage every pregnant woman should be able to do - enjoy every single activity!!
I always like to get something from the registry and then something creative off registry. But I have become an even bigger fan of regsitries after getting married and getting a lovely crystal set of pornographic candlesticks. Price tag on...about 150 spent on this gift but no idea where the heck they bought it ;)
MEGHAN: What?!! You want to RETURN the porno candlesticks? But....they're CRYSTAL! That's classy no matter what, right?
"Oh Sister, do I hear you." Absotutely. I hereby vow to never ever go to a shower again without at least a portion of my gift-bearing goodness containing an item from honoree's registry.
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