Giveaway

We live in a teeny tiny house. Tiny, as in Snippet's nursery will one day return to its true identity as a walk-in closet. We have no actual closets in our house, no attic and no basement. We have stuff crammed everywhere, and engage in very frequent purges to keep the stuff from eating us alive. You can imagine my dilemma as Snippet began to outgrow his baby gear, equipment, toys, etc. Even though we are undecided about what (if any) plans we have for future children, I had always assumed I would keep everything to frugally re-use it if ever needed. Once I actually had to find room for the bassinet, the jumperoo, the bouncy seat, the play mat, both swings, the infant car seat, etc, etc, etc, I realized I couldn't keep any of it. I stashed it wherever I could for awhile, but now that Snippet is nearly 18 months old, the outgrown stuff has become a mountain of blinky lights, colorful dangly toys, harnesses and velcro, and simply must go. Not only that, but I discovered that the carseat (which I had stored in the outdoor shed, thinking it was made of tougher fabric that could stand the heat and cold) was already showing signs of mildew on the straps. As difficult as it would be to give everything away, it would be so much worse to watch it all slowly rot in my selfish attempt to hold onto it.

The first batch of newborn clothing that I gave away to a friend left me in tears for several nights. I sorted through that bin over and over again, trying to decide which articles were absolutely non-negotiably staying. I justified the Keeps as items that were especially important to me---things that Snippet might one day pass along to his children, even. I tried to keep the Keeps pile small, though it was arger than it really should have been. I still ended up with a pretty big bin of Giveaways, and somehow pulled myself together when I gave it to my friend. I joyfully smiled as I loaded it into her car, though I was tearing up again as I turned away. If I could give away the clothes, I could give away all the rest of it, too, and I should.

Giving the toys and gear away piecemeal was my next attempt to whittle down the overflow. I gave away a pack n' play, a swing and the bassinet, all to the babies of good friends. It felt wonderful knowing Snippet's things were going to trusted sources who would care for them and cuddle their babies in them, but I was only able to give away a few things this way. I was still left with masses of blankets, toys and gear. I thought briefly about selling them on Ebay, or Craig's List, or even at a consignment shop, but I couldn't motivate myself to do it. I know it's completely normal to sell baby items, but something about felt so cold to me. These were my baby's things. Hocking them as though they were simply goods to be commercially traded seemed so contrary to their true natures. Since we had also received many of the items as gifts at baby showers from friends and family who cared for us and wished us the best, it seemed more fitting to find a way to give everything away to another family and let the good wishes keep flowing.

I heard about FreeCycle from a few friends and neighbors, so I registered and started watching the boards. I lurked around for a few months, until I finally saw the message I had been looking for. A man posted that he and his wife were unexpectedly adopting their first child in October, and had no baby supplies to speak of. He was asking for any newborn items that anyone didn't want or need anymore. I contacted him, and arranged for him and his wife to come by tomorrow to decide which items they would like to take. I am choosing to believe that their story is legitimate, though I know they could potentially be underhanded flea market hawkers, using a sappy story to get free stuff that can then be sold at a sweet price. I want to believe their story is true, and I hope when I meet them tomorrow, I will be fully convinced.

I have spent the evening laundering, cleaning and scrubbing the dust and dog hair from everything, scrubbing away, too, the unnatural emotional connections I have created with these objects. I hope this couple will take it all. I hope their new baby will have the best time drooling all over the play mat, spitting up when the jumperoo fun gets too wild, smooshing mum-mums into the car seat and splashing in the baby bath tub. I hope I will not cry as they load it all into their car, and my memory flashes spastically as each piece is carried away. Snippet is so much more more Boy now than Baby. It's time to let these old reminders go, and leave the memory-keeping to the photo albums instead.