Telling Dad
My dad is a very serious man, with absolutely no sense of humor. His favorite topics in the universe are the weather, taxes and politics. That's it. So, every time we talk, all three of these subjects come up, and I just try to avoid contention. And, yes, there can even be contention with him in just talking about the weather.
So, I called him up to tell him our big news and started off by telling him about New Puppy, and hearing how he thought we were completely insane and would soon be a certified rescue shelter if we didn't stop accumulating animals. He told me about his crazy brother-in-law who now has 7 chihuahuas (that my dad hates), so I assured him we, too, didn't care for small dogs and couldn't imagine having 7 of any kind of dog. He swiftly moved into the weather discussion, asking how much our heating oil prices have gone up and whether we were able to keep warm during the really cold snap a few weeks ago. He, again, advised me to purchase a kerosene heater, which I find appalling considering that we had one as a kid and used to have to crack the windows on cold days to vent the fumes. Anyway, from there the discussion went to taxes, and he asked whether we were going to get anything back this year. We usually never do, and last year only got a whopping $95.00. I told him we probably wouldn't get much back this year, but:
"....Next year we'll have a deduction, so maybe we'll get something then."
(moment of silence)
"What?"
"Well, next year we'll have a dependent, so we might get a little something back."
"Are you trying to tell me something? Are you saying you're pregnant?"
"That's what I'm saying!"
He let out a few "That's wonderfuls" and "Congratulations", but then he immediately turned into Mr. Dad.
"Now, you know, you can't drink anymore alcohol now. It's very dangerous."
"Yeah, I had heard that." (insert eye-rolling)
"And, you're not supposed to drink caffeine, either. Very bad they say. I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's bad. And fish. There's something about fish. Are you going to look this stuff up? I mean, you need to know what you're not supposed to do and all that. Are you gonna get some books?"
It was so sweet and hilarious all at the same time, the way he thought he was doling out these big revelations which, really, any high school girl is probably aware of. But, I humored him and said, "Oh, yeah, I'll have to look into that" etc. But, he's right about my needing an education. I really don't know a whole lot, though I have always tried to pay good attention to those of you who reached this point before me. My SIL (the one who is pregnant, too) actually gave me "What to Expect...." in a moment of wild optimism when we first started trying four years ago. I've never even cracked the spine, but decided to take a look at it last night. It's not the best book in the world, but it's free, and it's a start. If you have some favorite pregnancy advice books, please mention them in the comments!
And, now---more pee stick pics! Cause, really, can there ever be too many??? These are from Thursday and Friday morning.
So, I called him up to tell him our big news and started off by telling him about New Puppy, and hearing how he thought we were completely insane and would soon be a certified rescue shelter if we didn't stop accumulating animals. He told me about his crazy brother-in-law who now has 7 chihuahuas (that my dad hates), so I assured him we, too, didn't care for small dogs and couldn't imagine having 7 of any kind of dog. He swiftly moved into the weather discussion, asking how much our heating oil prices have gone up and whether we were able to keep warm during the really cold snap a few weeks ago. He, again, advised me to purchase a kerosene heater, which I find appalling considering that we had one as a kid and used to have to crack the windows on cold days to vent the fumes. Anyway, from there the discussion went to taxes, and he asked whether we were going to get anything back this year. We usually never do, and last year only got a whopping $95.00. I told him we probably wouldn't get much back this year, but:
"....Next year we'll have a deduction, so maybe we'll get something then."
(moment of silence)
"What?"
"Well, next year we'll have a dependent, so we might get a little something back."
"Are you trying to tell me something? Are you saying you're pregnant?"
"That's what I'm saying!"
He let out a few "That's wonderfuls" and "Congratulations", but then he immediately turned into Mr. Dad.
"Now, you know, you can't drink anymore alcohol now. It's very dangerous."
"Yeah, I had heard that." (insert eye-rolling)
"And, you're not supposed to drink caffeine, either. Very bad they say. I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's bad. And fish. There's something about fish. Are you going to look this stuff up? I mean, you need to know what you're not supposed to do and all that. Are you gonna get some books?"
It was so sweet and hilarious all at the same time, the way he thought he was doling out these big revelations which, really, any high school girl is probably aware of. But, I humored him and said, "Oh, yeah, I'll have to look into that" etc. But, he's right about my needing an education. I really don't know a whole lot, though I have always tried to pay good attention to those of you who reached this point before me. My SIL (the one who is pregnant, too) actually gave me "What to Expect...." in a moment of wild optimism when we first started trying four years ago. I've never even cracked the spine, but decided to take a look at it last night. It's not the best book in the world, but it's free, and it's a start. If you have some favorite pregnancy advice books, please mention them in the comments!
And, now---more pee stick pics! Cause, really, can there ever be too many??? These are from Thursday and Friday morning.
posted by deanna at 8:22 AM
14 Comments:
I bet inside he's all a-twitter! How cute that he cares so much.
Sounds a little like my dad. Who very clearly told me what the tax burden was for each of our children when they entered the world, thanks to government overspending.
Beautiful pee sticks!
Men are so silly!! They have to be the serious ones, that's for sure. My grandpa's reaction to our newest addition and Aiden's shirt was "is that true?" LOL.
You can NEVER, NEVER, NEVER have enough pee sticks. I peed on four with this one - he he he. They are gorgeous and definitely look to be getting darker, which is a FABULOUS sign.
Wowweee - 2/1 is LOUD and CLEAR! Yayayayayayayayay :)
They gave me the "What To Expect" book when I went to my first OB visit. I still haven't read it. I get a lot of info from babycenter.com. it's nice - there's a calendar you can sign up for and every new week, it'll send you description of what's happening and how your body looks. I read them to Jeremy and we have one of our happy little moments dreaming about the future. Basically, though:
NO: alcohol, drugs,(second hand smoke), aspirin, ibuprofen, kitty litter changing.
LIMIT: caffeine, soft cheeses, fish (including tuna), processed meats.
YES: vitamins w/ 400mcg folic acid, scheduling your first OB appointment, eat a well balanced diet w/ protein and fat, and enjoy this time w/ Jake :)
That is so funny about your dad! From time to time, my dad still gives advice like that about kids and Parker and I do the whole "eye roll" thing too...like, "Duh, I knew that a long time ago dad" But it's cute and they mean well! lol
And I really laughed out loud when I saw the pee sticks and that they were labeled with a Sharpie. I did the same thing. It's great to compare them and see the lines getting darker and darker! I don't even remember how many I used, all I know is that it was A LOT. Now you just need to add a digital one to the bunch, so you can see the actual words say PREGNANT!!!!!!!! :)
So happy for you!
--Amanda C.
(old groupie from the TTC iParenting board)
Your dad is way too funny! All business on the outside, but I'm sure he had a huge grin on his face the entire time. ;)
Love the pee stick pics! Yesterdays was so clear!! I can't wait to hear your beta results next week!
That is so cute about your dad Deanna! He couldn't contain himself for a moment and then he had to switch back to Dad Mode.
One of the books I really liked was the Mayo Clinic/State Farm Guide to Pregnancy and the First Year (and it was free!!). Unfortunately I don't think it's available anymore. I had read that it's now through the AAP but I couldn't find it anywhere. So, if you want a copy I'll send you mine.
Beautiful, gorgeous, wonderfully positive pee-sticks by the way!!
Like the other comments said, you can never have too many pee sticks!! And they are getting darker and darker!
I did not like What to Expect, especially don't like how it's broken down monthly. It's impossible for me to go from getting info every other day in the form of follie check ultrasounds to monthly generalizations. I really like Your Pregnancy Week by Week. Each Saturday I lay in bed and read about what's going on this week.
And your dad sounds cute ;)
MARIANNE: Sure, I'd love the book! Can you drop me an email, too? I can't find your email address anywhere, since our PC blew up! I'm at: deliapup@yahoo.com
Great Dad story! :) Unlike you, I did read the pregnancy books during my weeks of wild optimism when I started trying, and a great one was Henci Goer's "A Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" it's about the birth more than the pregnancy, but it has really interesting statistics to help you make an informed decision about epidurals, episiotomies, c-sections, etc.
That's so funny. Your dad sounds cute. As for pregnancy books, I personally hate "What to Expect" (the subtitle should be "things might be ok but they might be horrible, and we don't want to be sued so really, just call your doctor") but I did recently check out "The Girlfriend's guide to pregnancy." It's good, it has a section on pregnancy after infertility and it's written by a woman who had her first child from an IUI (though improbably, she had three subsequent children the "old fashioned way.")
There can never be too many.
It's sweet when you get to tell the parents.
MORE pee sticks, please!!!! :)
Your dad's reaction was funny - tried to be his normal self, but sounds like he's pretty thrilled. And the more he thinks about it, the more thrilled he will be.
Books - I actually liked "what to expect" becuase I could only take info in small spurts. What was the best thing for me was NOT the books, but the message boards. I was on one for pregnancy after DE, so you will not need that one! But there are great message boards out there for preggos (and guess what - that is now YOU!!!!!). I would recommend finding one you like and asking any question you have there, or doing searches. You will get both anectodal and professional info, as people always post links to sites to help - for instance the sites for fish you don't want to eat, etc.
But do what works for you - that's all that matters, and it's a trial and error thing.
Just ENJOY every bit of it, including the thought about what book(s) to read! This is SO exciting.
And once again, please let's have more pee sticks!!
(One last thought - the results you get from your OB on Tuesday mean nothing any more. You need to go and get you second beta. I would call your OB's office Monday and have them order the second test for you so you can see what your doubling rates are. And I'd also have a HUGE whopping complaint about how unacceptable this wait has been.)
Hey, do as many sticks as you like, go hog wild!! Have fun!! lol
Cute about your dad's reaction!
I was/am acquainted with the receptionist for one of the top high-risk drs here. She hated "What to Expect" & told all his patients not to read it. She said she felt it unnecessarily scared too many women about things they really didn't need to worry about, but didn't say enough about some of the things they probably should have needed to know. She recommended The Mother of All Pregnancy Books by Ann Douglas -- I believe she did a U.S. version as well as a Canadian version. Full disclosure: I'm also acquainted with Ann through an e-mail list we were both on, & was in fact on the panel for her book. There are a couple of quotes from me in the pg loss & testing sections, I think.
I loved The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy -- it's a real hoot. But in retrospect, people who have had infertility & pg loss problems might find it just a tad breezy.
Just my $.02.
I didn't think about this at all when I commented previously but there was definitely a book I LOVED (I mean, absolutely 100% LOVED) when I was pregnant with Aiden and I pulled it out over the weekend to reread with this pregnancy. It's called "Great Expectations: Your All-in-One Resource for Pregnancy and Childbirth". One thing I really didn't like about "What to Expect..." was that it only broke pregnancy down by the month. This breaks it down by the week. It answers a TON of questions and ever really gets into labor and delivery, which was quite nice. That's my two cents (if it's even worth that - he he).
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